Sunday, October 28, 2012

Confidence in Talking to Myself

In Virgil's Aenid, he writes "Possunt quia posse videntur" or "they can because they think they can" (17). This is very true in any type of performance situation, whether sports, your job, school or in my case music. In this past week, God has blessed me with three performance opportunities. As a performance major, this is a BIG deal, since this is all great work experience and music resume material. 
I was invited last minute this past Saturday to play at an old friend's (who had been in the same guitar studio when I started taking lessons) wedding. Since we had just talked about this blog post in class the day before I was invited, this was a great opportunity to see my confidence- or lack of it- in action. I took careful note of what kept going through my head as I prepared. When I was first asked to play at his wedding, my first immediate mental reaction was"No! I can't do that! There's no way I can have those songs performance ready in one school day!" I had failed at the very beginning. However, I remembered that we had also been talking about goals in Comp class to prepare for the "Write to Serve" project. One of my goals had been to take advantage of every performance opportunity that came my way. This snapped my mind into "Yes man" mode and I agreed to the performance. Over the course of the next day again and again my mind kept freaking out. How was I going to do this? I didn't want to ruin my friend's wedding! The one thing I had to keep repeating to myself was that I had performed the main piece for all of my scholarship performances last spring. I had to keep telling myself "If I could do it then, I can do it now!" 
Also, a few weeks back, I had been invited by the music teacher at Paten Elementary to play for her fourth and fifth graders this past Thursday  With the wedding performance, I had completely forgotten about it until my mom reminded me a few days before. This time, I was prepared. Yes, I did struggle some at first when I saw that I didn't have much time to prepare, but I was able to bring it all under control by remembering how much of a success that the wedding had been. That got me through, and this performance was a success as well.
Finally, this past Friday evening, another friend called and told me that because of the cold weather we have been having lately, she had to drop the band that she had hired and find someone who could play indoors that night. With the success of the past two performances behind me, I had the confidence that I could do it, and said no without any hesitation other than some minor details about repertoire length, but that was soon sorted out. That performance was a success as well. Thus, I know very well first-hand how much of a difference confidence can make in a performance situation. 

Work Cited
Nettleship, Henry, et. al. "Liber Quintus." Trans. Henry Nettleship. Virgil's Aeneid
     London: George Bell and Sons, 1898. 1-59. Print. 

(Originally wrote this last week, but forgot to publish it. Found it today and decided to revise :D)




Questions, nice comments, and ideas are great. The whole idea of this blog is to help me better my writing. Any positive feedback is welcome.

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